i don't know

suprisingly my eating was on point... of course i busied myself washing clothes and cleaning out the refrigerator, in addition to seeing after my grandparents. grandma slept all day, which means she will be up all night. i've gotten inspired so i may start sewing tonight. i feel motivated, i even applied for a job today. re-wrote my resume and drafted a cover letter with the greatest of ease. i've been suprising myself all day.

i wonder why when my mother is here, i get nothing accomplished. i swear her energy zaps me. i guess i feel like such a fuck up and failure when she is around. i have to keep telling myself that these past 4-5 years are neccessary for the tremendous success i will achieve in my 30's. this is preparation; to keep me grounded, centered and an wonderful opportunity for me to develop that much needed virtue called patience.